Saturday, November 14, 2015

Tales of a Wayside Innkeeper: VOL. 3 - Moron of the day contest

Today has been a day that will go down in history here at The Spruce Lodge.  We
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Tales of a Wayside Inn, 1863
happily present to you:


A little info on each.... read through them and vote for your favorite moron.

MORON #1  We get a call from the lady in Cabin B.  She is cold and doesn't think her heater is working correctly. On top of that the electrical breakers keep tripping and shutting off her TV.  She is trying to watch Real Housewives of Orange County, so it's important that we hurry!  Rob and I bundle up to walk out there and check it out.  I notice on the front desk thermometer that it is a frosty 12 degrees outside.  When we get to the cabin we find she has 4 electric space heaters and the propane wall furnace running on high. She is upset that the cabin is not getting warm enough and is curled up in a shivering ball on the couch wearing a only a tank top and short-shorts.  We had to explain to her that it may have had something to do with the front door of the cabin being wide open so the guy smoking on the front porch could listen to Real Housewives too.  We advised her to close the door and put on jeans and a sweatshirt.  She called about a half hour later to assure us the cabin had warmed up nicely.

MORON #2  Shortly after finishing up with Cabin B and the short-shorts lady, we get a call from the Cook's Cabin.  The lady guest complained that she was cold and her cabin smelled like "heater gas." Rob and I bundled up again and went to check it out.  We discovered that she'd blown out the pilot lights on the cookstove and the propane fireplace earlier because open flames make her uncomfortable.  She didn't understand why the propane fireplace wasn't working.

MORON #3  Cue the drug dealer.  This story is about a local kid who showed up about 9 PM and asked if he could hang out in the lobby and wait for some snowboarders. He needed to unload some pot because he was low on cash.  This kid owes us money AND firewood, but he thought we'd be cool with him hanging out and dealing drugs in our lobby.  Uhhhh NO.

MORON #4  When we have people with reservations who have not arrived by the time we lock up the office at 10pm, we leave very nice notes pinned to the front door of the main lobby with keys and receipts inside.  Cue the guy who arrived late and took ALL of the express check-in notes and keys off the door - not just his own. Who did those other 5 notes belong to?  The camera and editorial crew from Snowboard Colorado Magazine of course!  They showed up an hour later and not having any information or room on the door, they left.  We lost a several thousand dollar advertising deal that was supposed to be free on trade.

MORON #5  Near midnight we had to deal with the sex in the upstairs Jacuzzi people. They were sloshing so much water around that it was raining in the lobby. They wouldn't answer the door or the phone.  They wouldn't shut off the water either. So it rained buckets until they were through.  We had to move the TV and the wine rack and lay out old rags and towels to soak up water so it wouldn't drain down into the kid's rooms in the basement.  It took about 40 minutes for them to shut the water off. We spent another 30 minutes cleaning up before we could go to bed.  There are a LOT of wet towels in the laundry room for the girls to wash tomorrow!

This was all the night of December 23, 2011

We'd love to hear your comments - Sound off in the comments section below.  Make sure you SUBSCRIBE to the blog, we'll be posting our best stories here!

Monday, May 13, 2013

Tales of a Wayside Innkeeper - Vol.2

"Tales of a Wayside Innkeeper"
a spoof on Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's
Tales of a Wayside Inn
By: Dee Plucinski
It was Valentines day and Love was in the air. The lights were turned low in the Lobby and a merry fire crackled in the grate. A recent snowstorm had blanketed the town with soft, white, fluffy snow and the Lodge was full of powder hounds, mostly affluent young couples from Denver and Boulder, here for a romantic ski weekend.  Several  of these couples sat around the fire sharing a bottle of fine wine and enjoying the comfortable, cozy atmosphere.  It was truly a beautiful evening.

Outside, the howling storm had passed and a glorious full moon lit the way for our last arriving reservation.   Another young couple in love, another romantic ski getaway, another routine check-in. 

I was at the front desk with the woman, getting her registered, giving her information on breakfast, wireless internet and the like when her husband struggled into the lobby weighed down with suitcases and ski gear.  I gave him the key to the room and directed him to the South Fork Suite upstairs on the left.  He lightened his load by dropping a couple of the smaller bags and two pillows on the couch before heading up the lobby staircase to their room. 

Just as we were finished with check-in, Rob (my husband) entered the lobby from the kitchen.  He chatted with the woman for a minute, asked about their drive down from the city and welcomed her to the Lodge before picking up the two bags from the couch and offering to carry them to her room.  I told him which suite they were in and he headed up the stairs.  She picked up the pillows and followed him.

Down the hall on the left, Rob knocked softly on the door of the South Fork Suite and entered.  He certainly didn't expect to see Mr. Husband lying on the bed all sexy-like wearing nothing but one of our small decorative throw pillows.  At that moment, Rob experienced the second full moon of the evening as mortified Mr. Husband grabbed his pillow/loincloth and rolled off the other side of the bed.  Mrs. Wife walked in just in time to see her husband's bare booty do a barrel roll off the side and hit the wood floor with a resounding crash.

Rob said "excuse me," set the bags on the bed and backed out of the room.  Mrs. Wife was crimson and laughing hysterically.  Mr. husband was not visible. 

For those familiar with the Lodge, you will know that a man rolling off the bed in an upstairs guest room will sound much like a wrecking ball coming through the ceiling of the lobby.  The old wood floors creak and squeak with every step.  Poor Rob was met with a hundred questions when he made his way down the stairs, but he didn't say a word, just waved and went into the kitchen.

A few minutes later, after regaining his composure, Rob came back into the lobby and told us all it was simply a heavy suitcase falling off the bed.   Heavy, yes.  Suitcase.... um, No.

Now YOU know the rest of the story.


Dee and Rob Plucinski are the proud owners of The Spruce Lodge in South Fork, Colorado.  Please visit our website at

In addition to great stories, we also have amazing hotel rooms, cozy cabins and a beautiful 4 room bed & breakfast listed on the National Register of Historic Places.  Fun, unique lodging in a family style atmosphere.  "Enter as strangers, Leave as friends."  That's just how we roll.

See our video here  :

This summer "Our guests raft free!"  That's right, stay 3 or more nights at our regular rates and raft the Rio Grande river for free!  Fish, hike, bike and enjoy the mountains from The Spruce Lodge - your perfect Southern Colorado base camp.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Tales of a Wayside Innkeeper

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
As ancient is this hostelry
As any in the land may be,
Built in the old Colonial day,
When men lived in a grander way,
With ampler hospitality;

A kind of old Hobgoblin Hall,

Now somewhat fallen to decay,
With weather-stains upon the wall,
And stairways worn, and crazy doors,
And creaking and uneven floors,
And chimneys huge, and tiled and tall.

--Tales of a Wayside Inn
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 1863

I'd like to tell you a story.  Several stories, actually.  I'd like to tell you of my travels to exotic locations and tell you wild tales of daring adventures in all corners of the globe.  I'd like to regale you with descriptions of foreign foods and unusual drink under starry skies in places you have never heard of.  But, alas, I can not spin these tales for you, my friend, because I am not a world traveler, nor do I participate in exotic adventures in unknown lands.  In fact, I rarely travel at all, instead the world brings its stories to my doorstep.
I am an Innkeeper. 
Known as the third oldest profession in the history of man (preceded only by prostitution and politics), the legacy of the innkeeper is ancient and honored. (Probably because we give professions #1 and #2 a place to do business without drawing public ire.)

Ahh the people we've met and the stories I have to tell you.  But, goodness, where are my manners!  Allow me to pull a chair near the fire for you.  Set your weary feet to rest near the flames and enjoy a glass of wine.  We will let the storms rage outside, let the branches on the old pines grow heavy with snow and we will watch the flames dance as the wintry winds bluster and bully the merry blaze in the hearth before us.  Relax, my friend and settle in.  The night is young and my stories are many. 

Where would you like to start?  Stories of inebriated guests?  Tales of black bears and coyotes?  Chronicles of our ghostly encounters with people who aren't really there?  How about a simple one to start out.

'Twas a dark and stormy night, long, long ago.....

Not really.  Actually it was a Saturday afternoon in June 2011 when I found this......

That's a full beer.  Cold too.  There's a story here, I just don't know what it is.  Sigh.  If these old walls could talk.

Stay tuned - follow our blog - and I will share with you the stories of our lives as innkeepers at The Spruce Lodge in South Fork, Co.  We have many and most are quite funny.  Some make you question the future of the human race, others will make you cringe, still others will make you very, very glad you have chosen NOT to be an innkeeper. 


Dee and Rob Plucinski are the proud owners of The Spruce Lodge in South Fork, Colorado.  Please visit our website at

In addition to great stories, we also have amazing hotel rooms, cozy cabins and a beautiful 4 room bed & breakfast listed on the National Register of Historic Places.  Fun, unique lodging in a family style atmosphere.  "Enter as strangers, Leave as friends."  That's just how we roll.