Today has been a day that will go down in history here at The Spruce Lodge. We
happily present to you:
|Henry Wadsworth Longfellow|
Tales of a Wayside Inn, 1863
THE MORON OF THE DAY CONTEST 12/23/2011
MORON #1 We get a call from the lady in Cabin B. She is cold and doesn't think her heater is working correctly. On top of that the electrical breakers keep tripping and shutting off her TV. She is trying to watch Real Housewives of Orange County, so it's important that we hurry! Rob and I bundle up to walk out there and check it out. I notice on the front desk thermometer that it is a frosty 12 degrees outside. When we get to the cabin we find she has 4 electric space heaters and the propane wall furnace running on high. She is upset that the cabin is not getting warm enough and is curled up in a shivering ball on the couch wearing a only a tank top and short-shorts. We had to explain to her that it may have had something to do with the front door of the cabin being wide open so the guy smoking on the front porch could listen to Real Housewives too. We advised her to close the door and put on jeans and a sweatshirt. She called about a half hour later to assure us the cabin had warmed up nicely.
MORON #2 Shortly after finishing up with Cabin B and the short-shorts lady, we get a call from the Cook's Cabin. The lady guest complained that she was cold and her cabin smelled like "heater gas." Rob and I bundled up again and went to check it out. We discovered that she'd blown out the pilot lights on the cookstove and the propane fireplace earlier because open flames make her uncomfortable. She didn't understand why the propane fireplace wasn't working.
MORON #3 Cue the drug dealer. This story is about a local kid who showed up about 9 PM and asked if he could hang out in the lobby and wait for some snowboarders. He needed to unload some pot because he was low on cash. This kid owes us money AND firewood, but he thought we'd be cool with him hanging out and dealing drugs in our lobby. Uhhhh NO.
MORON #4 When we have people with reservations who have not arrived by the time we lock up the office at 10pm, we leave very nice notes pinned to the front door of the main lobby with keys and receipts inside. Cue the guy who arrived late and took ALL of the express check-in notes and keys off the door - not just his own. Who did those other 5 notes belong to? The camera and editorial crew from Snowboard Colorado Magazine of course! They showed up an hour later and not having any information or room on the door, they left. We lost a several thousand dollar advertising deal that was supposed to be free on trade.
MORON #5 Near midnight we had to deal with the sex in the upstairs Jacuzzi people. They were sloshing so much water around that it was raining in the lobby. They wouldn't answer the door or the phone. They wouldn't shut off the water either. So it rained buckets until they were through. We had to move the TV and the wine rack and lay out old rags and towels to soak up water so it wouldn't drain down into the kid's rooms in the basement. It took about 40 minutes for them to shut the water off. We spent another 30 minutes cleaning up before we could go to bed. There are a LOT of wet towels in the laundry room for the girls to wash tomorrow!
This was all the night of December 23, 2011
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